May 2013: Working? Hardly.

I’m looking for work.

This is obvious, of course, since two months ago I left my previous jobs and moved 850 miles. I was convinced at the time that I would find a job relatively quickly. Since moving, however, I’ve discovered that what I consider quick and what the fundamental forces of the universe that conspire against us consider to be quick are obviously of a different time span.

It’s not that I’m in desperate need of a job right now- I have sufficient savings that I don’t have to be in a hurry. Even so, I’d like to be working for two reasons: one, I hate to see my savings account dwindle, because it’s never been this large before (and it turns out I’m somewhat of a savings account size queen. Or something.)

Reason two: I’m bored.

It turns out that I don’t handle free time very well. Right now, I am in the enviable position of being able to do practically anything I want and have all the time in the land to do so. I could be reading, or painting, or drawing, or writing, or any number of things …

Mostly I’ve been watching cat videos on the internet, of course. When I’m not reading the help wanted ads, that is. (So far, there has yet to be a position announced that requires watching cat videos, sadly.) There is such an overwhelming abundance of things I could be doing that it’s seemingly impossible to settle and choose one.

Regardless of how I end up spending my day (meow) scanning the help wanted ads is a daily occurrence. But it’s tricky to find positions for which I am suited.

It doesn’t help that so many positions have new and confusing names. So many jobs are now for various “technicians”: “Customer Appreciation Technician”. “Monetary Transfer Technician.” “Small Fauna Recreational Supervisory Technician.”

I guess I’m old fashioned, because I expect a technician to actually work with technology. Granted, there is every possibility that the “Exploratory Specimen Procurement Technician” may work with technology, of some kind, but I don’t I even really want to speculate on just how it would be incorporated …

Too late.

The other daunting aspect of many of the position open advertisements is that so many require so many different skills, some which are really difficult to obtain. I have a broad range of skills that I would normally expect to be quite marketable. However, knowing a little about a great many things doesn’t help with the jobs that I see offered that I know a little about but which actually require knowledge of great number of specific things of which I do not.

Additionally, many require a number of years experience in such obscure things as miniature graphene micro-welding (I made that up, but I’m betting it’s an actual thing) and then either offer a wage that is obviously insultingly low, or illogically list the position as “entry level”.

While I have years of experience doing esoteric things under my belt (take that however you want, you’ll probably be right regardless) I feel badly for someone just entering the job market and seeing so many entry-level positions that require experience.

Another word that’s popular today is “Associate”. And “Sales”. Lots of sales positions available. I’m betting if I look a little harder (probably won’t take long) I’ll be able to find a job listing for an “Associate Sales Technician”. I’ll go double down that it’s an entry-level position requiring two years of experience in associating. Heck, no matter what order those words appear in, they still sound like an actual job title. “Sales Technician Associate.” “Technician Sales Associate.” “Technician Associate Sales.” (Ok, that last one is a stretch.)

But not all is lost. There have been many jobs of many various titles, sensical and non, for which I have applied. Some led to phone calls, some led to interviews, and some have led to nothing whatsoever so far, but for which I still remain hopeful.

The interviews I have been to have been interesting. I was perfectly suited for all of them, naturally, but one paid far less than I wanted; another literally rewrote the job position while I was interviewing to make it far less interesting and undesirable than the original description; and another interviewed me for an hour, finally telling me that I had impressive, wonderful skills and broad knowledge (which I knew) but that she really just wanted to meet me, because she wasn’t sure what she’d do with me if she hired me.

I didn’t have a ready answer for that one, and I doubted that it would go over well if I told her that there’s practically nothing that I will not do if enough money is thrown my way.

(Years of experience doing esoteric things under my belt, remember.)

Still, I’m not worried, and my ego remains undaunted, which surprises no one, I’m sure. I’m looking at this as an amazing opportunity to simply enjoy myself for awhile. I know a job will come along eventually, and I have the time and resources to wait for the right one. All those things I’ve put off in the past, the things I said I’d do “someday” when I had more time- now I do. And since eventually I will need to worry about the old eight-to-five again, I’m going to live it up while I can.

And if I get bored, well … there is really no end to videos of cats on the internet, you know.

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